In the UK there’s a thriving group of non-profit techies, (also known as Circuit Riders) who stay connected through a mailing list, that regularly keeps everyone engaged with helping each other, and supporting each other, through those trying times when you need someone to call upon, as well as those not so trying times, when you just want to let people know what’s happening, or sound out ideas.  That’s great for the virtual contact, but I’d always felt that there was something lacking in the face to face meetings and events that could also occur, and that I’d experienced during my time as a Non Profit Volunteer Techie in San Francisco during 2006 and 2007.

Working with a model that seems to work well, of meeting on the first tuesday of each month, Amy began the first of London’s Net Tuesdays this week, and by all accounts it was a roaring success!!  You can read a nice detailed account of the event at Amy’s Blog. I don’t think it would be fair to even begin to try and give a better summary than Amy’s already done.  Clearly a seasoned blogger, with a great writing style, she’s done an excellent job of reporting the output from our Bloggers Discussion Panel, which involved Type Pad, Moveable Type, Wordpress and Community Server being represented. One of the members of the Panel, Miko who wore the slightly more technical hat for TypePad, as well as representing Community Server, has written up an excellent summary of the key blogging platforms, and a great summary of some of the differences between them.  I thoroughly recommend if you’re starting out to read her summary, and use those to help inform your decisions about which blogging platform to use.

We then ended the panel, having answered some great questions about the features and functionality of the tools, and then started to come up with a list of considerations to take into account, before getting started.  The blogging “strategies and approaches” part of the conversation was designed to verse people a little in the thinking that goes into making a successful blog, and after brainstorming from the room, we crowdsourced the following 5 key points, of :

1. Setting Goals
2. Write with Passion and Knowledge
3. Practice writing blog posts for a few months
4. Use your community to come and comment
5. Integrate your blog with everything you do

The premise behind this conversation was that in order to be successful with your blogging, there’s some key pre-requisites that are needed.  Especially if you want your blog to be engaging and participative.  With that in mind, Miko shared her own take on starting blogging, and what you should do, to prepare to succeed.

Some Of My Own Thoughts on Blogging

I’m certainly in agreement that blogging doesn’t just happen, on it’s own, in isolation from the world.  I think often people look at a blog, and think “I can do that”. They might even assume that just by installing or getting a blog set up, that they too can start to reap the engagement and conversation that occurs in the blogosphere.  Unfortunately, it really isn’t all as simple as that.

Speaking, from my own experiences, and I wrote my first blog post in 2004, I can say with all certainty, that blogging for me has been something that evolves over time. I’ve undoubtedly been learning a lot about the medium of blogging along the way too, and that journey educates and inspires me to continue to always try out new things, and then some.I first started my blog, as an experiment, using Blogger.com, and started out thinking of it as a place to capture my thoughts and interesting things that I would come across on the internet.  You can even see at Blogger.com my original blogs, as they were until I left them, and integrated them all into my current Blog, which is now a self-hosted installation of WordPress, and where you might be reading this from.

Back when I first started blogging, I decided on some key areas of interest for me in my life, and thought I would use a blog to collect interesting websites that I found and bits of information that I thought were useful.  I considered my blog to be a place to store my thoughts, and as a record of my travels through the internet. I even started a few different blogs, because I thought that other people might be interested if I started collecting enough interesting websites, relating to a specific theme, or idea, or topic, and that in time, people would start finding my blog and commenting on it, and leaving their thoughts and ideas, if I were to capture the “best of” along the way.

You must remember that this is back in those days when del.icio.us and other social bookmarking websites hadn’t yet come out, and I was itching for a way to start collecting my bookmarks online, so I wouldn’t always have to use the same computer, but would always have access to the cool links that I found along my travels.  I also wanted to be able to share with friends, and family some of the cool stuff I would find online, and thought that naturally in time, a blog would be the perfect solution.

And to an extent, it did work, for a few months, and it certainly warmed me to the idea of blogging, but it didn’t really take off, in a big way. I still didn’t quite understand, back then of what I might be able to use the blogging for, and I definitely didn’t maintain the discipline of keeping my blog updated with all the interesting and wonderful things I discovered along the way.

I think back then, part of the challenge for me was that everytime I wanted to post something I would have to log into the blogging platform, and then create the entry, and couldn’t just use a plugin, or bookmarklet script or external blogging client to write to my blog.  Now after experimenting with a number of great tools, I’ve decided that I’m in love with ScribeFire, a plugin for Firefox, and since using it I’ve also started blogging a whole lot more too.  But I digress..So after a considerably non-productive use of blogging, with little real interest in keeping it alive for the sake of keeping it alive, and with this terrible feeling that no-one in the world was interested in what I was writing about, or posting about, I laid my blogging to rest.  Not consciously, but I just didn’t feel the need, or a desire to write about stuff as much.  I wasn’t feeling particularly inspired, or excited, and I guess I was going through my own challenges in life, understanding what I wanted to do, and how I wanted to engage with the world.

Then in the summer of 2005, I ended up travelling to Peru, in South America, and all of a sudden, I had something that I wanted to share with all my friends and family back home.  After a few attempts at writing out long emails, with details of what was happening, in response to people’s emails, I realised that most of the time I was writing pretty much the same set of details in response to people, and spending quite a bit of time repeating the same stories over and over to people, on a one to one basis.  Spurred on with the knowledge and experience of using Blogger.com, quite successfully in the past, I decided I would use that wonderful medium of “blogging”, to write about my travels.  Suffice it to say, it didn’t take long before I took great pleasure in sitting in internet cafes, writing up my notes of the day.  I even became really diligent in writing in my pocket diary, a summary of the days events, so that my time in the internet cafe would be spent just writing up what I’d already thought about and reflected upon, at the end of each day.  I thought that sharing my travels, and experience in that intimate manner would be a great way to keep everyone updated on what I was upto, and how my travels were going, and it meant that I wouldn’t have to write the same email to everyone that kept asking me how things are going, and what I had been upto.

It also started to fuel my desire to write, since I knew I had a captive audience.  I’d received so much support and encouragement from people as I’d left London, that I figured most of those people would probably enjoy reading about my travels, and my adventures.  I later discovered that my cousin had also been sharing my blog out to his fellow co-workers at work, and even though I never received much email, or saw any visibility of how many people visited my blog, and hardly anyone ever commented on it, I felt like it was being read, and I kept it updated, just so if nothing else, at least my family and friends would know how I was doing, and that I was ok.

Of course, once I left Peru, and returned to London, the blogging on that trip to Peru didn’t seem like a natural thing to continue, since I was back home, and things in London just didn’t seem as noteworthy, or as interesting and different as they did out there.  My only regret with my blogging back then, was that I didn’t take a digital camera with me, and take photos… Some of my travels were just so scenic and beautiful, and some of the people I met such loving souls, that I wish I had captured them all on camera.. But instead I got the joys of having fond memories that I shall keep with me instead :)

Again, the blogging had seemed like a great idea, it had become really useful, and productive for me, when I needed it to communicate, and now that I was done with that trip, it didn’t seem like I had anything left to write, and so I just let it fizzle away.  Back then, I didn’t really have any comments on my posts, and I didn’t really understand, if I had emailed all these people that knew me, why didn’t anyone comment on anything I wrote??  And so, by not having much engagement from the audience, I ended up leaving it as a record of my travels, and nothing more.

Uncovering Your Voice

I guess all along, the biggest challenge I had, when writing for my blog, was to get clear in my mind who I was writing for, and what it was that I wanted to communicate.  I would have moments of sharp clarity, and specific things that I thought were noteworthy, and then the enthusiasm would wear off, reality would set in, and I would come to the conclusion that actually I didn’t have anything significant or noteworthy to share with the world. (At least nothing that seemed to get the whole world clamouring at my doorstep, and wanting to comment on).

I’d finally understood, that blogging is a very personal choice, and that if I chose to publicly share myself, I would always be able to do it on my terms, and didn’t have anyone to answer to but myself.  I think partly because back then I didn’t have a clear audience in mind, I used the blogging as a way of tracking my own thoughts, and adventures out into the world of the internet, but never leaving that comfort zone of writing into an empty vaccum where no-one seemed to be listening.

Now, almost four years on, a lot has changed.  My understanding of the internet, and it’s role in my life for one.  My ability to engage and connect with people for another.  And also how I’m using the internet, and what I’m seeing myself using it for are all changing too.  I think part of the online social networking phenomenon of seeing your network online, in platforms like facebook and linked in means that you slowly start to see your “community”.  Wheras in the past, the most visibility you would get is the emails you got and sent, and the IM chats.  The online social networks that have come into existence now, are slowly starting to make us all acutely aware of the fact that we now have “captive audiences”.  Be it we might use those captive audiences to chase, as werewolves, or to write on each others walls, but innately , we have people we are engaging with, and who are engaging back with us.

This is where blogging comes into play, and starts to become useful.

Whilst you can certainly send an email out to everyone you know, using bulk emailing platforms, once that email is sent, it’s gone.  There’s no permanency to that message or conversation.  It disappears into the ether, and you can only track the results, and await the response from people to know what people felt or experienced.  Whilst it makes it possible to communicate intimately, and personally, it detracts from the public presence that could be enriched by sharing the contents of those emails in public.  Especially if it’s non-sensitive information that goes towards establishing your brand, your credibility, your cause, your needs, or your experiences with others.  What people can’t see about you, people can’t know about you, and whilst email newsletters are great in principle, in practice, there needs to be something being added or updated to the blog, or the news section of your own website too, so that those people who don’t currently subscribe to the newsletter could also have the choice, based on the content.

Nowadays, I’ve come to understand a little more clearly my audiences, and my different voices when blogging.  I can’t say I understand or know them all clearly, but I do know that I have a number of different threads or streams of ideas flowing through this one blog.  I have very distinct and different communities of people that I’m communicating with through this blog.  (Albeit, those communities may only exist in my mind for now, but they are very real nonetheless).

I can see, as I re-read my own blog, and see the train of thought, and threads of conversation that I’m weaving together, that I have some very distinct and seperate groups of people that I’m talking to, or in conversation with.  And I think more importantly, I’m starting to understand how powerfully, I can start to engage in the conversation on the internet, through the blogosphere.

It never truly dawned on me, until the Net Tuesday event we had in London, but commenting on other people’s blogs has really started to make me realise and appreciate how important it is to give before you receive.  If I want people to comment on my blog posts, I have to go out there and comment on other people’s blog posts first.

If I want my blog to become successful, I have to make it more focussed, and targetted.  This is something I’ll write about properly another time, but for now, suffice it to say, that the internet is a big place, and the more targetted and focussed your writing is, the easier it will be for you to become an authority in a particular niche.  What that translates to, is that everytime someone googles something vaguely related to your topic or area of expertise, you’ll come up at the very top.  As long as you know what it is you’re passionate about, and what you genuinely know about, then chances are that you’ll eventually be able to become an established authority in that niche.  Until you get that focussed, your own thinking and writing will suffer, as well as the community engagement, and participation to your blog, your website, and your cause, or field of expertise.

Conversely, the more focussed, and targetted you are in everything that you do, the more you start to add real value for others.  You become capable of voicing the unvoiced, on clarifying assmumptions, on becoming an authoritative voice, and opinion.  You also become capable of synthesising and expanding upon the ideas and thoughts of other people, and actually further the conversation in the blogosphere.

But first, you must know who it is that you will be writing for?

Then what is it that you’re going to write that this audience is going to want to know about?

Once you can answer the above two questions, clearly, and you have people regularly asking you for, or your regularly telling people the same bits of information, then, and only then, will you be able to uncover your blogging voice, and start to contribute in a meaningful manner through your blog.  Until then, you’ll be finding your feet, through the possibilities of what you might be able to voice, and who you might be able to express your thoughts to.  That’s not a bad thing either, because until you start trying, you’ll never figure out your space, and most definitely not find the flow of your blogging voice.

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Well, it seems, since my travels around Peru, in 2005, I’ve yet to find a perfect solution for this dilemma…  Back then, I was travelling around Peru, and wanted to share some of the more personal stories, with select groups of family and friends, whilst the more general updates were meant for everyone.. But it seems, that there wasn’t an easy solution to the challenge, and so I ended up just not sharing some of the more intimate and personal stories, of my adventures, with the ones I wanted to share my stories with.  3 years on, and we don’t appear to be much closer to solving that challenge.. I suppose if I was only staying in touch with 4 or 5 people, this wouldn’t be a problem.. But being an active member in a number of different communities, and wanting to share stories, pictures and adventures with friends and family, being able to choose who gets to see what, seems to be a complex challenge, with no real practical solution.

I tried using Facebook recently, to share photos from my wedding, with some of the more personal, family moments, to be shared just with close immediate family, and it seems that Facebooks privacy settings, are far from perfect…  Short of excluding everyone, and then only including certain family members, you can’t just choose who to share photos with..

This challenge is one I’ve been grappling with for more than 3 years, and whilst I know the solution lies in starting with the social graph, and then managing access to information based on the relationships between people, it seems there’s very few if any services, that truly are able to execute this infrastructure, based on the needs of the person, with a real community in real life.  Facebook is trying as hard as it can, but being event driven, and advertising focussed, it can only ever truly be a glorified advertising platform, that lets people see what is happening in the most coarsest, and heavy handed manner.  For online tools to be able to come close to allowing the average person, with a multi-faceted life, to safely share the content that matters, with the people that matter to them, and to be able to keep work, family, and personal lives seperate, as we have them in our daily lives, in real life, will require a different order of thinking.  Something which Billioninayear.com has managed to do.   Once we have our development budget in place, then we’ll be able to see in a more direct manner, just how a tool, designed to keep you connected to the people you want to stay connected with, can really be a blessing, and save time, instead of becoming a curse, and adding to the information stream you have to stay on top of.

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Filling that tank, up in the loft, required many bucket loads of water and many trips up and down.. Eventually we were even using ropes to pull the buckets of water up to the loft.. But alas, the water from our cold taps finally stopped.  Round about 12pm.. The guess everyone made was that “everyone else” had woken up, turned on their taps, and gotten what little water was left in the pipes..

Fortunately, we managed to get enough water into our main tank, that we could at least continue to flush our toilet, and wash our hands.. But then we just had to wait patiently, until about 4pm or was it 6pm, when the water finally started to flow again..

Throughout the crisis, the Thames Water website crashed a few times, and if it weren’t for the public tweets on twitter,  I don’t know that I would have been informed, or been able to figure out what was happening.. The phone lines all were giving automated messages, with no idea of updates or what was the cause of the problem.  Turns out, a couple of entire postcode areas were hit, with a burst waters main in South Wimbledon being the culprit.  Thankfully that got fixed in time.  Now I just hope we don’t have to experience any more water outages.  It did make me think though, how luck we are, and how much we take for granted the ability to be able to turn on the taps, and get water out of them..  I wonder what life would be like, if you didn’t always get water?? When I was travelling around Peru, in Cusco, the entire city would have it’s water supply shut down during the day, and some places I stayed, we would only get ice cold freezing water out of the taps, when we did have water.

I wonder just how lucky we really are??  At least now we can get all those dirty dishes washed, without having to take them down to a river!

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Originally upon returning to Iquitos, I had plans to go to Brazil. On Tuesday morning, I knew exactly how I would travel, and where I would go, and Wednesday morning, I was getting ready to leave.

How naive I was… Before leaving Iquitos, I wanted to meet a person whose contact details I had been given – a Howard Lawler, a man who organises spiritual Ayhuasca journeys, as well as journeys through spiritual centres.

I was very clear that I didn’t want to take part in an Ayhuasca ceremony, having met many friends along my path that had walked this path, and I declined all opportunities to participate. I had also been real sure, looking at Howards website (http://www.biopark.org/peru.html) that there wasn’t any journey that I wanted to participate in, that was being organised. Besides it was too expensive, and way beyond any budget I had left.

So Tuesday afternoon, I was going to meet Howard for lunch, chat about something, but I didn’t know what, and then get ready for a boat to Brasil…

Yeah right!! Like I really have a clue about this journey anymore….

After 4 and a half hours of ‘talking’, I was sure in the very essence of my being that I was going to spend 20 days travelling this sacred path that was part of the journeys organised from the 25th of July, till the 14th of August. This included spending ten days in the jungle working with the Ayahuasca, and ten days on a spiritual pilgrimage, culminating at something akin to “Heavens Gate”.

How I would be able to afford the $3500 dollars, and how I would be able to manifest so much money, in cash, here in Peru, by Friday morning were questions that my body didn’t seem to be worried about… It just knew with a certainty that this was a journey I had to take, and I was going.

I spent a day sending out emails, asking people for help, mainly friends who had said if you need money, email us, and we’ll help you out… and it seemed that there was no-one there who was able to help. Eventually, everything unfolded as it needed to, and now, sitting in the Internet cafe, I’m waiting for the transaction codes for two Western Union transfers that should yield the full total amount that I need, to pay for the trip.. the shortfall made up with cash I have to hand, and access to, through the support of people who’ve been able to make small contributions.

Then, in half an hour, I’ll meet Howard, go to Western Union, get the money, give it to him, and then it disappears into his bank account, and I’m all signed up!

Then on Monday I meet the group of people that I will share a most powerful and intense cleansing and healing spiritual process. I know that on the other side of this my physical problems with my swollen leg will be healed, and I know that my health will be at an all time high!

It’s real funny, because, just as we were finishing our chat, with Howard, he mentioned he’d worked with Channel 4, and that’s when I learnt that Howard was a man who I had seen on tv, in the UK, the day that I couldn’t decide if I should go to Peru or Mexico. I asked the universe for a sign of where to go, and switched the tele on. Finding Extreme Celebrity Detox (http://www.ginger.tv/content/default.asp?page=s2_3_22) on E4, I saw Howard Lawler taking 4 celebs into the jungle, to take ayahuasca in Peru. Seeing that I knew that I should definitely go to Peru… I just never realised that the universe was showing me exactly where I would go, who I would go with, and what I would do there as well…

Howard’s contact details were given to me by Susan Bookman, who I met during my visit to Inti Ayllu, a spiritual community in the sacred valley. And it turned out that Howard knew Don Americo Yabar really well too, and his local contact to co-ordinate activities in Cusco was Don Americo’s daughter Arilu… I just knew that I had just completed another circle, closed another loop.

The fact that when Howard had spoken to me, he had described all the steps that I had known I was going to go through, before I would be ‘whole’, and that this journey addressed all those parts that I was consciously working with.. it was too perfect.

Now, once the money is sorted, I’ll be going into some quiet space, and start preparing myself mentally, and emotionally for what will be a very pure and complete experience. Even reading http://www.biopark.org/peru/shamanrisks.html allays potential fears, and re-inforces to me the real integrity, and completeness that I would have never found if I had gone looking, but that I am ready, I am encountering.

This moment I am really keenly reminded of that old phrase ‘when the student is ready, the master appears’.

I can’t imagine it being any truer than now…

So July 25th, I go into the jungle, and then on August the 14th, I finish a journey, with more news…

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That said, my journey down the Mazan was wonderful… As you can tell I’ve returned from the river, and as far as I can tell, I’m still travelling solo!

It seems that my journey down the river, whilst interesting, and educational, served to show me that I still wasn’t ready, and that I need to spend more time removing from my perception all limitations, that lead to irritation. This was exemplified in the very real example of the mosquitos that regularly had supper using my skin as their table, and my blood as their food.

Fortuantely, I had the tent from my friend Chesman, to sleep in, and so wasn’t bothered so much at night. Even whilst on the river, the insects weren’t a problem. It was only when we arrived at a camp site, that the insect fests happened. And I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the way that the locals would just leave their trash everywhere that they didn’t need. If before coming to Peru, I had thought the Amazon was a place that was pure, clean, and unpolluted, I was wrong.

The locals have no hesitation throwing anything and everything into the river. From plastic bags, and plastic bottles, to the plastic wrappers from crisp packets and biscuit packets, to the disposable forks and spoons. It seems people seem to think that the river is an ok place to dump things, and so I’m sure that the levels of pollution will no doubt all contribute to some huge social environmental crisis one day.

That said, in the actual forest, once we got into it, was beautiful, and the plants managed to keep a balance, that meant flies, and insects weren’t a problem.

However, there was also a real absence of any animals at all, in the little bit of the forest I visited. And the only birds we spotted were hunting targets for the locals, who had convinced me to pay for the hire of a gun and ammunition.

In spite of the environmental stuff – the people we met throughout the journey were testimony to how the warmth and welcoming home can be found anywhere even in the middle of the jungle!

After using the motor (peke peke) to go upstream, and after a number of ‘incidents’ with our motor, on our return journey (4 days into the trip), we ended up eventually losing total use of our motor, and had no choice, but to ‘float’ back downstream. Apparently, floating along the river was a very normal way to travel, as we had seen people doing it downstream, as we went up. Whilst the pace was slow, and gentle, we managed to travel day and night, and had some wonderful night skies, full of stars, and the growing moon.

Eventually, after returning to Mazan, I took a quick trip to Iquitos, to get some money, to pay for the remaining balance of the motor rental, boat rental, and to pay the three locals who had accompanied me throughout the trip. Javier, Gayle and Mauro.

However, I didn’t have money for the trip to Iquitos, and trusting Javier to sell the remaining gasoline we had, he ended up with enough money for the two of us to head back to Iquitos, in order for me to get more cash, from the ATM.

Upon arriving into Iquitos, we got in a motortaxi to the Plaza de Armas, and I discovered I didn’t have my wallet in my pocket. Sure that I’d brought it with me, Javier, suggested we rush back to the boat, as he thought I might have dropped it on the boat we had taken. Back at the port, Javier rushed ahead of me, and tired from all the travelling, I decided to wait for him up top of the stairs. He came running back, grinning, showing me that he had successfully found my cash cards.

Telling me he had paid the captain 10 soles for thanking him, I naively believed him, and we went back to the plaza. I guess with no cash being in the wallet it wasn’t of much use to most people. But it got me thinking that Javier probably knew the pickpockets there, and managed to find the one who had picked my pocket.

Anyhow, as things were to unfold… that evening, I didn’t manage to make it back to Mazan, where I had paid for the night in a hotel, and having missed the boat, I came across Javier, at the port, waiting for me. He said he’d been waiting an hour, and when I asked him why he hadn’t taken the last boat home, he said he’d waited for me.

Then the stories started to come out… from being told that he was ’solo’ and had no family or brothers and sisters that he had any contact with, he started telling me that a woman who was like a mother to him was in the hospital, and the 50 soles I had paid him earlier that day to settle the bills he had paid in the hospital, and that he needed more money.

Clearly, he had just bought new shoes, and some CD’s, and I’m guessing that the ‘mom’ was fictional, but not wanting to be cruel, I said sure no problem… later…

He kept wanting me to give him 300 soles so that he could pay the other two amigos who had helped out during the travel. But for some reason I didn’t trust him, and said it’s ok, I’ll pay them myself. And I’d also bought presents for each one, that I wanted to give to them personally, and I wanted to thank them for all their hard work. Since throughout the whole journey Javier had been sleeping, or chilling with me, and Mauro, and Gayle had been doing all the work, packing and unpacking the boat each night, driving the motor, cooking the food, making the tents, and doing anything else that needed doing.

We ended up going to the house of an uncle of a friend of Javiers in Iquitos, to spend the night, after he initially had told me that we could spend the night at his house. I ended up spending 10 soles, what I would pay for a hostal, as a token of thanks to the uncle, as well as spending another 5 soles on thanking the friend, giving him 2 soles for his travel, paying another 10 soles for drinks for Javier, who had told me he didn’t drink the first night I met him – and there he was drinking…

Despite spending triple what I normally spend in an evening, for room and board, in a house that I wouldn’t ever have paid more than 5 soles, if I were to pay, I ended up sleeping in the room, whilst Javier took the hammock in the living room.

Then, half way through the night, I hear Javier in my room, asking me for more money. Telling me his uncle had just come, and his mom was ill, and needed more money for the hospital. He kept pleading, asking me to help his mother, how I should help him to help his mother, how he didn’t like to have her suffering… After about 10 minutes or so, I decided there was no way I had a choice, and seeing it as charity, I ended up giving him 40 soles, even though he only asked for 30, and sure that he was lying.

The following morning, I found that my wallet was 200 soles lighter… the 200 soles that I was to pay the other two guys had been taken out of my wallet.. I only had one suspect in my mind. Upon telling my host, the uncle, he told me how he didn’t feel that my friend was being sincere last night, and suspected that he wasn’t being honest with me. Javier had apparently left at about 12 or 1 am, and was no where to be found.

On the up side, I had the nicest cooked fish in ages that morning – and even though it was the most expensive breakfast I’ve ever had, I was glad that it had happened. For it confirmed my suspicions, and I somehow had guessed that I was going to have trouble, and had slipped 200 soles out of my wallet, into the inside pocket of my bum bag, where I kept my passport.

It’s clear there was no-one else who knew exactly where I kept what money, and only Javier had ever seen me use my wallet, including my zipped pocket in the wallet where I kept my larger notes.

Lesson learnt, when I confronted Javier back in Mazan, he claimed that he wasn’t there during the night, and that it must have been someone else.

Tired of his lies, I pretended I had no more money to give, and invited Gayle to return to Iquitos with me to get some cash. Once Javier was out of the picture, and Gayle had come to meet me in my hotel room, to go to Iquitos, I confided in him, and asked him how long he had known Javier. He told me he hadn’t known him long, and confirmed my suspicions, when he told me that we never paid any money for the fish that we had eaten during our journey. Even though Javier had taken 20 soles to buy fish, we had traded a flour snack for the fish, and I had seen it all.

I ended up giving Gayle 100 soles, with some extra to bring Mauro’s 70 soles payment upto 90, and Gayle kindly offered to assist me to the port, regardless.

The sincerity of Gayle and Mauro, and their strong work ethic made me want to thank them more, but having lost the money I’d withdrawn from the bank, I had no flexibility in my generosity beyond what I had, and figured Javier had taken enough money to pay for everything that I wasn’t going to buy his complaining whining of ‘how am I going to pay for everything?’.

Leaving Mazan, I arrived in Iquitos, checked into a cheap hostal, and slept well, after visiting the uncle, who I had gotten quite fond of!

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I also get introduced to an ‘amigo’ who will be joining us for the journey. Gayle.

After paying another 20 soles, we get a boat secured. We pay for gasoline (320 odd soles), buy supplies (70 odd soles), and by then it’s already 2 or 3 in the afternoon, and Javier tells me we’ll leave tomorrow, early in the morning. Happy to wait, I suggest we at least go and try out the boat and the motor, since I wanted to see what it looked like, and how big it was – and also to start getting prepared mentally. Riding to the place where the boat is docked, we get the motor onto the boat, and take it out for a spin.

The boat was tiny – with three seats, front middle and back, and as we’re making our way back in, thinking of needing space for at least one more person, (my princess) I ask if we can’t get a bigger boat? And as I say that the perfect sized boat floats in, and I question, can we get something like that?

Well we end up getting the very same boat that I’d spotted, and with news that we can have it from 10am the next morning, we call it a day.

Later that evening, I walk into town, and end up meeting a ‘mechanic’ called Chesman and his friend, who has seen me getting ready for the trip, and wants to be my ‘guide’ for the trip. After explaining the nature of my journey, I discover that the mechanic had seen me, and had wanted to ‘connect’ with me, talk with me, without quite understanding why. The more I talk, the more he understands the ‘heart connection’, and how there was just something about me that drew him to me.

Before leaving, he insists that I take a ‘gringo’ tent that he has, and Chesman promptly goes to his home, gets the tent, and then even shows me how easily it assembles, and disassembles! (doesn’t take more than 5 minutes to put it up, and it only has two flexible poles that come apart), and slide into the fabric, to act as a support for the structure.

Impressed, I make my way back to the hotel clearer than ever that this is a journey that is completely guided, and everything is happening exactly as it needs to unfold!

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Instead I ended up finding a hotel for the night – 10 Soles, good deal.

On the morning of the 8th of July, I decided to make sure I get to Mazan – so by 2pm, I’m at the port Productores, and find a ‘Lancha’ – a slow boat that’s going down to Mazan. 2 and a half hours later, I arrive in Mazan, and getting into a motortaxi, get taken to the ‘centre’. Finding the cheaper hostel a little too cheap for my taste (what with no en suite, a single bed, and a room that had thin wooden walls that didn’t reach the ceiling, but touched the floor), I decided that 10 soles was too much for so little, and moving onto the Hostal Municipal, discovered that for 2 soles extra I would be able to get an en suite (meaning shower and toilet – nothing fancy though… just a room with a loo and a sink, and a shower head with a metal rod sticking out of the wall to turn the shower on and off with..) and haggled my way into a ‘Matrimonial’ suite which meant a double bed too, for the same price!

That evening I fished around a little for some clues as to what to do next, and ended up finding a bakery selling wholemeal bread, after dinner in the market. Attracted by the wholemeal bread, I started to buy some, and as things go out here, I got talking with the lady of the store, telling her about my ‘vision’ and quest.

She ends up suggesting a fella named Javier, who get’s tracked down and brought to the Bakery store, who sits down with me, looks at my map, hears my story, and agrees to be my ‘guide’. Asking him straight up how much it would cost, he kindly offers to come with me ‘voluntario’ – which I figured meant he was happy to come along for free.

That evening, I went to bed, knowing that in the morning, once we had our transport sorted out, we’d be on our way to the point in the Mazan that my map was showing me was where I should be…

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Getting lost on the way to the Federal office, we eventually, end up buying some juices, before arriving at Immigrations, where the Austrians gain their entry stamps, and I get my entry and exit at the same time!

On our way back to the hotel we find the place that Sebastian had been looking for for breakfast, and buy some of this fruit that’s meant to be a real brazilian specialty. Upon buying it, it doesn’t taste quite like anyone expected, and becomes a gift to whoever picked it up off the street!

Buying a coconut, from which we drink the milk out of, we get back to the restaurant where we ate the first day, and have our lunch. Then, back in the hotel, I pack, and take the guys to meet the shop owner who I bought sandals from.

As the rain starts pouring down, I rush back to get my things packed, before too much time passes, and decide I should start heading over to Peru now.

Walking all the way down to the river, I don’t see the Austrians anywhere, and loathe to leave without at least saying goodbye, I decide to go back up, and see if I missed them somewhere. They end up coming out of a shop, and seeing me, make their way down to me. I suggest why don’t they come over to Peru for a bit, and so we all get the taxi boat together. There, we meet our boat, that is getting ready for it’s return journey, and the Austrians end up joining the crew for a game of footie (football/soccer). Watching (since I’m too tired to join in), I think back to how slowly time has passed, and yet how it seems like it’s been such a long time knowing all these people, even though it’s hardly been a few days. Sebastian, and Joachim, especially have faces that remind me of people that either I know, or they have faces that I might have seen before…

Anyhow, after the football, and few beers with the guys from the ship, the Austrians head back to Brazil, and I set up my hammock in the boat.

By 7-30pm, I’m ready to unpack my things, and head back to Brazil, as the Immigrations lady hasn’t arrived and the boat is scheduled to leave at 8pm! Fortunately, she arrives, just as I give up all hope, and I get my entry visa, as well as a bite to eat, before the boat leaves!

The next two days and nights get lost between the books I was reading, and the conversations I had with the crew. I had become a familiar face to many of the crew, and having spent the time to talk with them on the outward journey, they weren’t shy and readily came upto me, and started cnversations – felt good – more like family, than a passenger!

As it turns out, I think my spanish might have been misunderstood, or the man collecting money for the tickets felt overly kind towards me, but I ended up travelling back to Iquitos on the same ticket that I had come out on. Saving myself an extra 40 Soles. That more than made up for buying an expensive hammock on the first day!!

Today, 7th of July, at about 12am, in the morning, we docked into Iquitos. Loathe to leave, I decided I’d sleep the night in the boat, like a few others had. In the morning, I made my way into town, with express purpose of getting my Webblog upto scratch, and for some reason I wanted to phone home too…

It turns out that today, in London, some bombs went off bringing fear and some panic to the capital. From what I’ve been reading… the strongest most constructive response to any violence, of any kind, is to be that much clearer in the light, and in the unconditional love, and to use it to reflect back to anyone that considers harming you the choice of the path of love, or the opportunity to destroy themselves with the amplified return of their own hatred, and fear.

The moment anything is experienced, and held as an emotion, it gains power, and so I stand strongly in this moment, spreading out and reaching out with my vision of a world of peace, love and harmony, holding it more strongly, returning the light ever more brightly, to those that would try to bring anything less than into my thoughts, feelings, or consciousness.

As long as I hold myself clearly I have seen my path out here in Peru unfold so clearly and effortlessly, it’s unbelieveable. And in completing this vision, I hold that possibility out to you too dear friend, and brother.

Think of nothing but peace, talk of nothing but love, and see nothing but light, and then all your thoughts, words and visions will be filled with a truth which no-one will be able to deny.

I now leave this weblog, so that I may continue my journey up the river Mazan, into the forest, to meet the woman who is waiting for me.

With her, I shall return, and share my news with you all. Till then, may your prayers be filled with nothing but positive affirmative, constructive thoughts words and deeds, and may you too see the same light of the new dawn shining out brightly from the heart that is aflame within.

In love and light to all that read this… I wish you the highest vision of self that you can see – for you are perfect, and complete, if you only knew…

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We check in, and I end up tagging along with the 3 foreigners who I had been following since we left the boat together. They had all gone ahead of me, and I followed them, as they seemed to know where our passports had been taken, and then seemed to know how to get to Brazil. It turns out Sebastian, Florian, and Joachim were from Austria, and they had travelled the river down to Iquitos from Ecuador, and were heading to visit a friend in Brazil, in Sao Paulo, after visiting Manaous.

I had originally planned to visit Manauaos myself – but deciding the journey would take too long, I had decided against it, and was planning to return to Peru the next day. As it happens, the Austrians were more than happy to share their room with me, and so I didn’t really pay for much during my time in Brazil. Especially since they seemed to have the local money, and I didn’t have anything but Peruvian Soles at the time.

I decided to go and buy some sandals, and in doing so, ended up spending over two hours chatting with the store keeper, who insisted I sit, and have some refreshments, as we talked (mainly repeatedly going back to the large shoe size I had, amongst other things!)

Well, returning to the hotel, I couldn’t find sight of my Austrian buddies, and so went lookign for them. I first thought they’d have headed to a local place to eat, but I didn’t see em anywhere to be found. Eventually, talking with a lady who served me some cheese and potato pie, I learned that there was celebrations happening that evening in Leticia, the next town down – and me being me I thought maybe they might have gone so far as there!

Getting onto the back of a motor taxi (read motorbike, with empty passenger seat behind!), I daringly ventured into the ‘festival’. Upon arriving, at the Fiesta of San Pedro (a hallucinogenic Cactus!), I learnt that I had crossed into Columbia, and that Leticia was in a different country to Tabatinga, where we had our hotel.

After looking around briefly, deciding that there’s no way that they would have been able to come all this way, alone, without leaving me a note at least, I decide to return to Brazil, and when I find the Austrians, to bring them along to here. The stage seems packed, with the audiences filling all the rows, and watching the performance, I’m sure they would appreciate it.

Returning to the hotel, with the same motortaxi, I arrive back at the hotel to find the Austrians playing cards, since clearly there doesn’t seem to be anything to do in Tabatinga that evening.

We all get ready, and go to the fiesta for a few hours, in Colombia, and return back to get some sleep by 12 or 1 am the following morning. It was really beautiful seeing the fiesta, because everyone was joining in. Whilst you had whole groups of people standing around, as you’d expect, there’d be spontaneous acts of dancing by old people, as well as young. But most beautiful to watch was the older people… they had a grace and style, that did justice to the festive atmosphere, and reminded me of how in latino cultures, there just isn’t the age difference in the same way… The old are as agile as the young, if not even stronger spirited even!

That night I slept well, tired from the travelling, and festivities!

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